Disclosure, stigma, undetectable, viral load...

Those words are all part of our daily vocabulary now.  From the title some of you may understand exactly what I am talking about but for those who don't, let me start at the beginning.

You have heard me talk about the mounds of paperwork involved with adoption.  One of the very first pieces of paperwork is the medical stuff.  Not just for us but regarding the child we want to adopt.  This particular paper is a medical check list.  It is a list of medical conditions ranging from mild to severe.  Many of the things on this list we had never heard of.  So, with Google up on the computer we began checking of the special needs we would be willing to deal with, for lack of a better term.  This is not an easy thing to do.  How do you say no to any child?  Unfortunately there were some needs that we just didn't feel comfortable taking on.  Under the label, COMMUNICABLE DISEASES,  we checked no to all of them.  We had a family and felt that was a risk we weren't willing to take.
Fast forward several months.  We switch from the Korea program to the Ghana program and we are matched with two adorable children.  There was very little information in their file.  We received their measurements and were told our daughter has an umbilical hernia.  We did ask if either one of them had a communicable disease and were told no.  Four months later we finally start receiving medical information.  First for our little guy.  Other than malnutrition, he is healthy.  A few weeks later I received an email from our agency regarding our daughter.  It is a moment I will never forget but not because I was shocked or upset.  Because this is the first time I realized the profound love I have for these children that I have never even met.  Our agency informed us that our daughter did test positive for HIV.  They still needed to do another test to confirm which we take some time to get the results.  In the meantime we were to decide if we wanted to continue with the adoption.  Here is where that profound love comes in.  YES.WITH.OUT.A.DOUBT.IN.MY.MIND.YES!!!
This was no different to me than if a doctor had told me there was something wrong with a child I was carrying in utero.  This is my child, a precious gift from above. 
The next few weeks involved lots or research and reaching out to other adoptive families with HIV positive children.  What did I learn?
HIV is no longer considered a terminal illness, but instead it is a manageable disease.
HIV has never been contracted in a casual setting such as in the home, church, school, et.
HIV,with the correct treatment plan, can acutally be undetectable in the blood!!!

I was amazed by the advancements that had been made and saddened by the fact that there has been so little education about HIV/AIDS since the 1980's. 
Next came the issue of disclosure.  To tell, or not to tell.  I read blogs, I asked other moms and I prayed.  This is not a subject to be taken lightly and there is no correct answer.  Since you are reading this it is obvious that our decision was to disclose.  We told our family members right away and then a couple months later we told our church family.  We have received nothing but support and encouragement.  We have been blessed!  Due to the military, we relocate every few years.  We do not plan to tell each church we attend.  We chose to do so here because our church family has played a vital role in our adoption process.  We chose to post it on this blog because we covet your prayers and hope to connect with other families parenting a positive child.  What we are not looking for is your pity or your discouragement.  You know the saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all"?  Yep, that applies here. :) 
Right now our daughter is not on medication and is doing just fine.  Our first few months home will consist of numerous doctor visits.  We have already been in contact with her Pediatric Infectious Disease doctor and he is wonderful.  I look forward to the day I can type the word undetectable in HUGE letters!  Please join us in loving and praying for our sweet children on the other side of the world.

Thank you!